Communication in Relationships
Communication is a demand for any healthy relationship. We’re familiar with the fact that communication makes relationships and without proper communication in a relationship, it is doomed to fail.
Open, honest and good communication in an essential part of a healthy partnership.
Effective communication with your partner can be challenging. To understand your partner and to be understood by them takes time, effort and attention.
People think that verbal communication is the only form of communication in a relationship. However, body language, understanding, trust level, all contribute to an effective communication between partners.
There are ups and downs in all relationships but by communicating effectively, we can make it easier to deal with conflicts and come out of them stronger.
Communication allows us to explain what we’re going through and what our needs and expectations are.
It not only helps you in meeting your needs but also helps you to stay connected in your relationship. Communication also keeps us safe from misunderstandings that ultimately cause hurt, anger, resentment, confusion, and conflicts.
We encounter couples claiming that they have a great relationship. This means that they communicate with one another and feel positive towards each other when they interact.
A great relationship means good communication in all circumstances. Good communication should be there when differences arise so that the partners can fix their dilemmas cooperatively.
— Twosome (@Twosome_us) October 1, 2018
Differences should not become barriers between couples. Instead, they should be opportunities for finding solutions and enhancing the level of understanding.
Strong collaborative communication skills are required for making decisions together. Both partners need to communicate in a way that both are willing to listen attentively and respond positively.
Strong communication skills not only enable couples to have fun together and share their love but also help them to deal with difficult issues and tough situations.
Consider the following points for healthy communication:
- If something is bothering you and you want to discuss it with your partner, try to find the right time for it. Discuss it when you and your partner are calm and not stressed.
- Communicating face-to-face should always be preferred over communicating via texting or emails. As these nonverbal mediums can lead to misinterpretation and misunderstanding.
- Avoid using harsh words when you discuss an issue. Use “I” and “We” instead of using “you” as it sounds like you are attacking and ultimately makes your partner defensive and less receptive to you and your message.
- Be honest with your partner and yourself. Admit when you are at wrong and apologize instead of making excuses.
- You need to consider your body language when your partner is discussing anything with you. Give full attention and make an eye contact with them while communicating. Avoid using the mobile phone or watching the TV when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
- If your partner does anything which hurts you or makes you angry, share that with them. If you can’t, then try to forget about it instead of holding a grudge.
Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships
Open communication helps in building trust and making your relationship healthier and happier. Healthy communication helps in maintaining relationships easily.
When both partners are familiar with the thoughts and feelings of each other, it is the sign of openness and freedom in the relationship.
Communication is the only way to understand the person you are interested in and smoothen the way to maintain a healthy relationship.
There are four different communication styles. These are:
But among these communication styles, the healthiest option is assertive or open communication.
There is a feeling of respect, security, sincerity, confidence, true love, and positivity for both partners in this communication style.
Open communication also helps in building trust in a relationship which ultimately makes the way for free communication.
No romantic relationship can grow in a vigorous way without effective communication between the partners. Communication is transmitting and sharing of information between the two.
Living together as partners will not work until there is an effective back and forth of information sharing. Powerful listening and communication connects partners and intensifies the intimacy. This helps in strengthening the bonding of a relationship.
Following points should be kept in mind for an effective communication in a relationship:
- Speak to your partner more often and listen attentively to the partner too.
- At the start of the relationship, the first phase is an attraction, then comes infatuation, then concern and finally responsibility towards each other. Trust is mandatory to reach this stage of responsibility.
- There will be no insecurities in the relationship after building trust.
- Communication is the way to love and care for each other. There should be a two-way communication to express the feelings with one another.
- Communication is the best way to show your support for your partner. Be open to your partner and make them comfortable so they can also share their feelings with you.
- Open conversation makes partners closer to one another. This also makes it easier to share everything about life whether it is good or bad.
- A relationship is an effective support system. When there is a relationship between two people, they depend on each other. It is mandatory that a partner should feel safe and assured. And it is healthy communication that assures this feeling.
- There are some expectations in relationships and effective communication is required to share these with your partner.
- Arguments and fights are negative communication. Instead, matters should be resolved in an effective way by communicating better.
We must always try to save our relationships from insecurities, misunderstandings, doubts, conflicts, mistrust, and faithlessness. And strengthen it with true love and better communication.
Signs of Bad Communication in a relationship
We all understand the importance of good communication in any relationship. Lack of communication or poor communication has ruined too many relationships.
Many marriages failed and many couples broke up due to bad communication. For the maintenance of marriage or any romantic relationship, healthy communication is essential.
Communication is not just discussing an issue. Healthy communication for great relationship needs flexibility, care, love, and selflessness.
If you notice any of the following signs then you need to pay attention to your relationship in terms of communication:
- The conversation between you two never goes deeper than the surface In the early days of a relationship, partners usually converse a lot in order to learn everything about each other. But with time, this seems to slow down and fade. If you feel this is happening in your relationship, you need to press the CTRL+F5 and refresh it. How? We’re discussing how to fix these communication issues in a relationship in the next section of this article.
- If you don’t ask about each other’s day. Asking this shows concern and also gives you a point to start a conversation. If neither of you bothers to ask this then it is a serious issue that needs resolving.
- Both of you want to talk more about your agenda and not willing to listen to the problem of the other person.
- One or both of you have started to lose patience more often and get angry very quickly.
- The most part of your conversations now consists of nagging.
- If something is bothering you and instead of talking it out you assume and jump to conclusions. This will take your relationship towards a breakup. Here you relationship needs serious attention and a big communication jump.
- Assuming that you know your partner well and reacting in the same way repeatedly on the basis of past behavior.
- If you both are avoiding your personal hot buttons. It is a sign of unresolved issues and lack of trust in one another.
- If you are sharing your problem with your friends instead of your partner.
- If sex is nonexistent and your physical connection is starting to wane along with your emotional and mental connection.
These are not all but major signs that should alarm you if you experience one or more of these in your relationships. In the following section, we’re going to share some suggestions on how to solve these communication problems.
How to fix Communication Problems in a relationship
Bad communication or no communication affects a relationship badly. Communication problems are needed to be fixed to make the relationship healthy again.
Below is a list of points that can be applied to fix communication problems in a relationship:
- Ask your partner “how are you?” and “how was the day?” to initiate a positive vibe in the conversation. This also shows them your concern and care.
- Try to spend more time together. Go for lunch or dinner or plan a vacation somewhere and try to know each other’s feelings and point of views on different issues. Discuss your hard times and remember the good times with each other.
- Never assume anything about your partner by yourself without knowing the fact. Often assumptions and mind reading leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
- Listen attentively and with comfortable eye contact when your partner is talking to you. If your partner needs you somewhere, respond to them positively.
- Don’t nitpick, if you have any problem, say it. If you don’t, it can corrode your relationship.
- Have regular relationship check-ins for your relationship and ask about your mutual decision and even about your relationship too.
- Believe things can change in life. Show your positive attitude during communication about problems and your relationship.
- Discuss things with your partner before they happen. Any family related issue which you foresee or any stressful situation regarding your job.
- Say thank you to your partner whenever they help you out in something. Appreciate their small gestures or acts that they do to please you.
- Discuss your sexual fantasies with your partner and communicate during intimacy. Partners who talk openly have good communication, solid trust, and more excitement that leads to a great and nourishing relationship. Communication during intimacy (e.g. giving verbal cues) shows that your bond is getting stronger and trust level is increasing.
- If you are dispassionate about something, express yourself to make your partner understand what and how are you feeling and how things are affecting
- If you have to talk with your partner about anything that you feel they may not like, pick an appropriate time for it. Don’t discuss anything when your partner is busy or in a rush or in stress.
- Take the time to complement one another about the things you like about each other.
- Never let those early flirting days die, keep those acts alive often to spice it up.
It is often thought that communication is all about big and deep conversations. But in reality, it is all about fixing the little things happening in everyday life.
Must read: A collection of quotes about communication in relationships that emphasize the importance of communication in any relationship.
Now if you feel that something is missing in your relationship then go to your partner and speak up. Express your feelings and discuss everything you want to communicate, this will make your relationship strong and healthy.