Have you ever found yourself standing in the middle of the crowd where everyone around you is happy but there’s a feeling inside you which saddens you up? The feeling of being cold and not being distant from everyone?
That’s loneliness. It sounds simple but the feeling is quite complex and complicated. It’s the same you feel when you see a group of people happy and you look around and find yourself lacking relationships.
What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling of social disconnection when someone lacks quality social relationships and wishes to have better social connections. Read Wiki
Loneliness Is A State Of Mind
While regular meanings of loneliness portray it as a condition of isolation or being distant from everyone else, depression is a perspective.
Dejection makes individuals feel vacant, alone, and undesirable. Individuals who are alone mostly ache for human contact, however, their perspective makes it progressively hard to frame associations with other individuals.
Loneliness, by many specialists, isn’t really about being separated from everyone else.
For instance, a school first-year recruit may feel forlorn in spite of being encompassed by flatmates and different friends.
A trooper starting his military vocation may feel forlorn in the wake of being conveyed to a remote nation, in spite of being always encompassed by other troop members.
Causes Or Reasons Of Loneliness:
Why do people feel lonely? Although there can be many reasons to feel alone, major types of causes for feeling loneliness can be situational, personal or combination of personal and situational.
- Emotional isolation: We feel lonely at times because we do not feel any connection with our family and friends.
It is because we do not have a common level of emotional bond with them.
- Intellectual isolation: Some people are intellectually bright than others. And that can cause them to feel lonely as well.
They do participate in conversing with others but yet they feel isolated as they don’t feel an intellectual connection.
- Living conditions: There were times when you knew everyone in the neighborhood. Societies were more cohesive back then.
But now trends of living have been changed. The life in the cities is so busy that you rarely find time to even connect with your close ones.
- Rejection: Failures are part of life. Rejections whether from people or in achieving certain goals, do leave a trauma.
This sometimes makes us go into a shell and shut ourselves in. Fear of humiliation can also isolate a person from its surroundings.
- Social media: People spend too much time on social media pretending to be connected with everyone that they forget the real-life connections with their family and friends.
Facts about Loneliness
The accompanying realities about loneliness remain constant:
- Being lonely can make you feel colder than everyone around you. It can expand cholesterol and circulatory strain, and can even prevent your resistant framework from working appropriately.
- Loneliness can destroy your rest: Since loneliness puts your body on ‘high alarm,’ it can make you progressively inclined to rest issues.
Sleep deprivation and the absence of genuine rest can both be an aftereffect of depression.
- Loneliness prompts recklessness: Gambling habits, drug abuse, and other reckless activities have all been connected to depression.
Finding a remedy for depression can keep these propensities from creating in any case.
- Loneliness can influence your emotional well-being.
Effects of Loneliness on Our Health
Loneliness does not feel like a medical problem, but it has serious impacts on our health and brain.
It can result in anxiety, depression and cardiovascular diseases also, for example, stroke, high blood pressure, and heart attack. Following are some serious consequences of loneliness:
- It influences cognitive impairment and there is an increased risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
- Social activities come to an end, and you may obtain destructive habits.
- It has a direct effect on the immune system thus there is an increased risk of disease attack.
- It can also cause a worsening of tumor consequences.
A detailed guide on the health risks of social isolation is available here.
Now that we know that it is unhealthy to feel lonely, I’m gonna share some valuable tips from my experience to deal with loneliness.
Because, no matter who we are and where we are, we are bound to experience loneliness at some point of time in life.
Tips For Dealing With Loneliness
Understand Your Feelings
First of all, you need to know why are you feeling lonely? Figure it out, I know it can be hard but it is you who got to do this for yourself.
Whether it is because you do not have many friends around. Or you are feeling lonely because you have many friends but do not have meaningful connections with them.
Try to think and answer the following questions; these can help you figure out reasons for feeling lonely:
- What do you want when you feel lonely?
- When do you feel lonely?
- Do you feel lonely when you have some specific people around you?
- Since when you are feeling like this?
Write About Your Feelings
Writing is a good stress reliever, it gives a sense of accomplishment and increases mental satisfaction level.
You can use whichever medium (notebook or online) that suits you and just get started with it. Medium is a good place to start writing online.
Make yourself comfortable and start writing about how you are feeling.
Research suggests that meditation can help you in releasing stress and unpleasant feelings of loneliness.
It is also a good way to understand your feelings.
But it requires training, so either you can join a meditation class in your area Or take help from the internet.
Find a comfortable place try not to distract yourself, try to concentrate on your feelings.
Observe the world around you with closed eyes.
Consult A Doctor
Sometimes it is tough for you to understand your feelings and you cannot figure out what is wrong.
This is the time you should seek some professional help.
They can help you understand and decide the best action you need to deal with this feeling.
Enjoy Your Company
If you do not have anyone to spend time with, try to go out and enjoy things yourself.
Go for a movie or dinner in a good restaurant. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Get A Pet
If you do not have any companion and tired of this lonely feeling, adopt a cat or a dog. Pets are loyal companions and can prove useful in getting rid of loneliness.
For making new friends you need to go out and involve yourself in events or parties.
Spend time with people of your community, join a class or a sports league.
Try to visit parties, not for the only sake of making new friends but go there with no expectations end just to enjoy yourself.
Spend Time With Family
This is very important because families are the support we’ve had when growing up and they usually are throughout.
Try to deepen your relationship with your family members. They can understand you better than anyone else.
If you do not have a good relationship with your family try to build one now.
Find the person with whom you can communicate easily and just open yourself up with them.
Learn Some Skills
Involving yourself in new things can help you a lot in getting rid of the feeling of loneliness.
Find yourself an interesting hobby or pursue that interest you always wanted to but couldn’t get the time.
You can try these things
- Learn to play a new instrument
- Learn to play a new game
- Cook yourself a meal
- Learn some new subjects
- Go for a trip
- Join a club to meet different people
Try not to consider loneliness to be a negative thing. There’s nothing amiss with spending some time alone.
There’s no reason for feeling frustrated about you. Try not to succumb to “for what reason does this happen to me?” Ask yourself what you can gain from this, and what you can do to quit feeling like this.
Instead of “Why Me?” You should say “Try Me”.
Try Not To Look For Instant Solution Of Loneliness
Wanting to rapidly diminish sentiments of loneliness encourages unwanted and hazardous practices.
Instead, focus on activities that can enhance your lifestyle and add interests to your daily routine.
Join An Online Network
Often interacting with individuals online can be less demanding than associating with them face to face, yet remember that online cooperation isn’t an equivalent substitution for real-life connection.
However, at some point, online networks can be profitable routes for you to share your feelings and emotions, or make inquiries to the individuals who are experiencing comparable circumstances. Online discussions frequently enable you to help other people while being helped yourself.
Make sure to be sheltered when on the web. Not every person is who they state they are and predators feed off dejection.
Connect to the Higher Power
There are just a couple of techniques that are demonstrated to effectively secure against loneliness, and this is one of them.
It is said:
Individuals who are associated with their God or a higher power will in general progress nicely.
There is plenty of variables at work here, one of them being that faith networks give numerous chances to positive social experiences.
Furthermore, faith can enable you to acknowledge the things in life you can’t control.
Set Realistic Expectations
Loneliness is a confound between what you want and what you have.
You can have a great time and light discussion with an assortment of individuals, and that it’s alright if those people are not with you for a lifetime.
Likewise, think about whether you have unreal standards that are making it difficult to interface with others and quit feeling lonely, for example, expecting excessively from a new relationship or friendship too rapidly or depending on someone else excessively.
Recommended read: 10 Great Expectations in Relationships
Think About Others Beyond Yourself
Loneliness can make you feel extremely self-engaged, implying that everything is about you.
However, advise yourself in case you ask a colleague to go along with you for lunch and that person can’t make it, you shouldn’t naturally accept that the person in question has rejected you.
Learn to always give the benefit of doubt to others and think positively in this regard.
Two Lonewolves Together Make a Pack
When you understand how it feels to be lonely, you can understand how enthusiastic the lift you get from becoming friends with another person who’s also going through the same feeling.
A few people may see isolation as a contagious thing, and hence lonely individuals frequently turned out to be considerably more isolated.
It is needed to accept that there is a duty in the network to contact enduring individuals.
For example, volunteering for an association that helps old individuals or visiting a neighbor who’s lost a mate.
Make A List Of People You Can Spend Time With
Is it a companion, relative, or a colleague who keeps things positive? Give yourself a rundown of individuals to incline toward when you sense that you don’t have anybody to communicate with.
If you need help with communication, read our guide on how to fix communication in a relationship.
You need to keep your options open, so list as a maximum number of people as you can. Abstain from inclining toward a single individual, there is a chance if you can — it can put excessive stress on the relationship and abandon you reeling if they’re not accessible when you call.
Loneliness Is Temporary
Regardless of whether you’re feeling alone now, that doesn’t mean you’ll forever feel alone or you’ll never discover a network that feeds you.
“You are the architecture of your future.”
This phase will pass and you will leave this feeling behind.
Take It Moderate
If you’ve felt alone for quite a while, or regardless of whether you’re encompassed by individuals, it feels very tough to meet new individuals or opening up to individuals for the very first time.
However, you don’t have to rush it, take some tiny steps and progress slowly.
As the moral of the story: Slow and Steady, Wins the Race.
Treat Being Single As An Opportunity
The time that you have alone is a gift. It implies more chances to pursue the things you need imaginatively and expertly.
A relationship is only one thing that can satisfy you among many.
Ensure your cup is full.
Loneliness can be treated with self-love.
Always love yourself, cherish yourself and appreciate yourself because only you know the best of your accomplishments.